Hearing loss of my system

Everyday, everytime, and every second I wonder "what are they going to do, with my hearing loss, that i have? Are they going to make a face and make me want to leave? What are they going to think and talk about from this moment on?
BESTEST FRIEND !
All I wonder is about my hearing loss. I want to join every event, activity, and programs that are available to every individual. But one concern that i have is my hearing loss.

Hard to face in life

Time has flew by so fast like things weren't able to stop and all the things I do here is not as challenging as it was back home. Things have become easier and my classes are not that challenging after all. But, its too late to turn my back and go to phase school. At least I just have until May comes around till the last year of my highschool and will have to, in any way, face the facts in this world. which is going to be difficult. Also, going to college would be like learning something knew and getting a better understanding of the many things that take this place from here on forward. Things will change so much that you will realize who you are and all this has and does mean something to everyone. All the things here at Tuluksak seems like there are no challenges. Mostly students heading over to school real late or sometimes even gone for the whole day. Do these students even know that there grades are more important, but sometimes things aren't always ending up the way we expect them to. They just get worse in a way that the ones that make mistakes knew about it. But those who realize the situation and is willing and able to fix the problem. Most problems aren't promised to be solved by only one person, but solving the problems deals with social, families, and most of all friends. Anything we do, does mean something to us in our heart, soul, and mind. Many unusual comes and goes, stays and moves, and most of all these things are hard to face in life. So, what we are doing is trying to find the maze through our journey and the stumbles of our struggles of this life here below.

How often have I failed my lord along my journey. How often have I stumbled in my struggles of this life here below.


I guess i just wanted to post something since its been back a while i haven't posted any blogs. This is about it.

Drivers Ed Website

Drivers Ed


https://driversed.com/cp_v3/cp_online_course_details.aspxModEnd=Y&studentID=marthawaskaDRVEDCA&refID=DED001&courseID=C0000053

It is what you know

I cannot sleep
Thinking about the past
Things happened so deep
That I am realizing the cast about
Of this life and there
Are serious problems, a size of an ounce
Which slowly filling the sphere.
Haven’t any thought that
It is not the beauty that counts,
It is what you know.






But, this mistake has to do with ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to anyone makes me feel like the world is not so real after all. I realized things are just not the way the culture and traditional dynasties used to be. The things are just far more off and this is leading life to a wrong direction. Many people seem to get the wrong idea of me in so many ways, just by the way I am acting and the way I use my words. I guess if I changed my habits than all will be well and without having to worry about what they think, just telling stories would be the only reason that would keep our self-esteem or behavior balanced. You know each and one of us are treasured with stories to tell which means something in the world. Imagining every so often can bring as much stories to tell. Everyone has a special gift and they are someone. The ugly people (they are not) are at least being the ones that are earning the least respect. The ugly people would not be here if they were not raised by their folks. Maybe the cute people haven’t really experience the fact that they are also ugly. It’s not the beauty that counts, its what you know.

Staying Positive

Staying Positive.... Lets see, well for me and those of you that has it. Being positive is nothing new. All we have to do is have positive thoughts that is require in every job you will have because you are getting paid for it. Maybe money and life of the people is the two main things in the world. Sometimes i just don't get life as it is now. I mean its hard for me to manage when things don't go the way we expect them to. Life of being positive is hard to manage and everybody has that feature. I sure don't know what to talk about. but my minds racing off with all those negative moments and sure is hard for me to manage of all the times. Every where in the world the job requires every employee to stay POSITIVE. Can you be positive for all your life? well, give it a try. i tried doing that but all i got was anything that gets me back to being negative. like i wear hearing aids just cause i have hard time hearing normally just like everyone else. Although i have nothing to be mad about i just am mad all the time. Let me look at it the positive way. well if i wasn't here than anything wouldn't happen this way. that is what makes me happy. people don't understand how i think. they just wonder off with "why is she smiling?" attitiude. Money here just comes and goes. its nothing you will have for a lifetime. but only a lifetime you will have is a person that you love and give support to. Anyways, this is all i have to say because i have nothing really to talk about.

unexpected summer of my life

Sorry, my attitude may not always seem positive all the time because i am related to the wrong people. Thats what i had noticed during my summers stay. But, my time as it is now, has a plenty of unsatisfied problems going around. Which sucks too because my classmates or where ever i am at. they always say "She's talking to you. How do you know? because you are starting to talk or laugh all of a sudden." man, i just probably won't finish my highschool year because of it. i gotta say no one cares but they will try and act like they care about it. Theres so many people out there that are craving for numerous items but the only way we can earn them is by giving ourselves the hard work, because hardwork pays off. Although, there are so many troubles going all around us we still and must live like the world is a gift to us. because an ugly thing is not a special gift to a single person. but only a perfected item is a gift to all. which is weird to understand in this world.


My world has too many troubles that there is no chance of getting things we need because there is no one out there that can't read anybody's mind. but it doesn't matter, at least they are not the ones that are respecting others' mind, body, and soul.
I already know for sure that i am related to wrong people. since, i like people that doesn't own many items as a rich person would. Anyways, have a nice day and take care.

U don't have to comment me on this, because i am not the only person living with this problem.

i don't know

my mind is blank today.

my time in school is being used up probably likewise or wasting time.

my side of the world is to know how to read minds and maybe figure out a lot of things just like you are.

my life is like just like yours but exactly different.

writing

writing... the elders of native eskimo's say that "the world will end, but our words will never die." its true. anyways. ahm. everyone read, writes, and draws. 

yeah nothing really to talk about, but you know. there is so much stuff to write about. we see words, write words, and read words, or even hear words.

words, words, words, and words, are one of the main things we speak of everything we see. each person has there own tools, like mouth we use to speak to make our voices heard, eyes is to prove we saw and think,  hands are on learning, we learn from our mistakes, we have legs to walk to get where we want to go and do something, i don't know skin is just covered on our bones. Skins that we use for our coat, can be soft, hairy, pale, brown, torn, and all kinds of things a skin can do. either our body can be hairy, any color. faces, well shaped in some form, you know, you hear a lot of stuff about faces. yeah faces of humans are what most of them are picky about, also i do too. you know everyone. faces can be scary, kind, gentle, and all that you can name. You and i have lived this far but there are far more greater success we can achieve, look forward to, and or just live life to the fullest. 

living life to the fullest, well to me means that each and one of us have to appreciate being here on earth learning each day, and you know do the things that our ancestors used to do. it must be important to pass on anything the ancestors did.  

what should this be titled?

I come in ready to learn, but I, myself, don't feel trusted enough with and how the people act toward me. I don't have any clue what people say about me. It's like they want to tell me something but they refuse to. Most of the time I die trying to figure out things and it just wouldn't happen. Alright, if you say so, i mean. i am just a person and i guess someone out there doesn't trust me at all. not even one person that i know of trust me. well, i tell them my plans and guess what? there never to come true. its like i lie to them all the time and it isn't worth it. All teachers here in oscarville counts on me and they always watch what i do. they think they don't realize to what they are up to. but things just come out to be wrong all the time. Maybe things don't go alright with me. I know nobody who trusts me. but my thoughts are like i don't know, not fun at all. on accident, i act funny to make them laugh. not what i want to share with you about me. i guess most of the time i don't laugh about people but something always does make me. It goes same thing with my family, the oscarville residents  kind of don't trust my family, thats why they always ask "did you get new shoes, sweater, coat, hat, gloves, and anything you can name" you know my family that is here now, ain't got a job that is worth so much as the residents do around here, but i guess they wonder how we trend to get new items. Gosh, i just get tired when all the workers ask about our stuff. it is just getting sick and tired, the only person i trust is the principal because i don't hear him ask about getting new stuff and it just makes me come to school. I sort of don't feel right about the school teachers asking about our stuff because those stuff we own are personnal, and why the heck do they want to know about our personnal stuff that we get, i mean i just don't get it. When workers or wealthy family sees the person wearing same stuff for year, they either laugh about them, ask them questions on how they get them, or even make fun of them. the wealthy people are just so apathetic, but for those who have gone through the same life they know how it feels. yeah, my mom doesn't have a job because she is a dropout, and us kids are trying are best to get an education but it just is feeling right enough for the workers or the ones that have educations themselves to ask questions about how we buy stuff. man, every day, the educators are aware of what we wear and it just sicks me out. I know almost every adult except in oscarville asks us about "when did you guys get that" and the recent movers like 2 years ago came, they do know what it feels like.  okay, take care. later

Martha

Who am I?

Thoughts

 Thoughts are:

Lame

Cool

attractive

simple

unbelievable

stumped

crazy

nice

naive

beautiful

gorgeous

Well, if you could describe about thoughts of yourself, what might you choose about yourself.

I think most of the time my thoughts are probably negative every day, but there are times that my family would make me laugh. I mostly feel left out and am used to being so independent that I barely talk to my class mates, only one person out of 4 or 5 I talk to. That person is a girl, lady, or a woman and she is so talented and so sympathetic about how each one of us feels. There are so many times we feel apathetic and most of us always laugh at people when we know it have never happened to us. which is weird. i mean we all should laugh at ourselves only but to people it may sound like we might have mental problems, but laughing at ourselves is written in the bible. But to prove that i would, gotta, hafta, and needa find it and store it in this blog that my classmates and others have. Alright, i would recommend you all to stay happy all the time, no matter the circumstance you got, is what you get and achieved. So, take care and all you gotta do is smile all day. but sad time occurs also. Gots nothing more right now but will add more to it later...

school

well, i feel like this and that most of the time, 

I know your life too is difficult to understand a very lot of moments, 

but why use our time doing same things everyday. That is not how it used to be in the past.

JUst THings CHange EVeryday FRom a person who thinks these things will always work out and why do US YUpik people have to follow the other culture when the other culture does not want ours to be alive. Well it is just so frustrating, and come to think of it. it is just not fair to change each culture to change themselves to follow one culture that is going on around the world. CAma-i is here once a year, well the thing is that they are having hard time keeping there culture just because of the Government Law but not the Commandments from the bible... I wonder how would we always communicate if there was no computer...

Everyone wants to go there way but then guess what. we sometimes feel so frustrated that we kind of don't already want to be here, geez. and EVERYTHING EVEN AN OBJECT COSTS a million dollars... why are they selling stuff just for money, money isn't that important in life, but actions are tougher than money and money is just ruining peoples lives, because everything is highly priced. 

only if i could move to another planet but then it just hurts to be with the government and all, it just isn't fair of how much pressure they use to make people follow rules and regulations... 

Is the world living by money or are they tryna cheat many lives just being wealthy? 

the answer is difficult and most of us yupik wants to do our own things but government has made the decisions for how there state should be stated and run. It just sucks so much that we can't be following the rules and regulations or should i say the ammendments... okay... yeah thats it nothing much to say and bye..

Laugh

We hear laughs everyday, but sometimes sad time comes.

Laughing is a natural subsistence in our lives.

I make people laugh, because i like to hear them laugh

and when they do, i laugh along with them cause i guess they laugh

for a reason to hear another laugh, and it makes me feel good when they laugh at me

cause i know for sure sometimes in their lives it will stick back to them, but worse than what they know.

i one time did something funny, and they burst out laughing and said "Martha your funny, you always make me laugh." I burst out laughing with them and said to them, "well, i like to hear people laugh, it is a good thing for people to laugh, and laughing makes you feel good, Also, it doesn't matter if they laugh at me cause they have imaginations at some point about that person," there was no response, "i sometimes do stuff like making imaginations about people and i sort of get why they laugh at people being funny." 

Laughter 

All around

Utilizes 

Gazillion of 

Habits

In the 

Nation's 

Generation gap.

Stranger and I

A stranger and I are in the same room in the school.

Me: Hey, Hi. How are you?

Stranger: I’m okay, How about you?

Me: Well, I am doing alright, but just curious if you’ve ever read the book called Far North by Will Hobbs.

Stranger: No, I haven’t. What is it so interesting about this book.

Me: Well, the thing interesting about this book, that this boy and his friend, there about the same age and were paired up by birthdays. The main character Gabe Rogers has decided to visit his father in one of the famous Canada’s North West Territories to visit his father and he wants to visit his father because his father had been talking about how beautiful the North West Territories were. One main thing is that he had studied about how the northwest territories would be like if he was up there. Turns out to be that things were kind of getting to know more in real life.

Stranger: Who is the other main character that faced Gabe Rogers?

Me: The other main character is a 15-year-old Athabaskan named Raymond Providence. Athabaskans are Native Americans that are part of Canada and Alaska. Most of the Native kids dropped out from the boarding school, and the kids called the “Dropping like Flies”. The students dropped out because they miss being at home. Which is a sad part, and just last semester I was watching news and in the news was about the native kids barely had good grades in Anchorage, and the Hispanic ethnicity have the pressure to do better and have the highest flying phases than the native kids that really belongs to Alaska.

Stranger: Alaska seems to be having a major problem with schools. One thing is that there are many native students that are dropping out because there parents, relatives, or friends trying to keep the native tradition alive and I believe that they are good at speaking Yupik instead of our second language. Because I heard elders say that the kids who are trying to change themselves to become English speakers. Here is one elder that said, “These children are speaking in English and they are not like the previous children. These children are noisy, like to yell, and fight. The people do not like children who are only speaking in English.” There Yupik values must be taught in a powerful way and these elders are not only losing their culture, but their dreams, too.

Me: Yeah, I agree, they also have that problem in this village, too. Maybe, like everywhere or the whole world is changing because of the laws. Oh, and speaking of laws that the native kid said it was his first time in a boarding school. He said that there are a lot of rules and regulations in that boarding school because he couldn’t even got to play his guitar and some other things. I forgot what the others were, I might have to look it up again just in case I give out wrong information about it or you can read it to find out.
Stranger: Why is Gabe traveling to see the world that his father is in? Is he going to go to work with his father or decide to see what the job is like?

Me: The reason why Gabe is traveling is to see the world to the place his father works at the drilling rigs. And no he is not going to work with his father, but he just wanted know what the job was like. Anyways, on their way, the bush pilot sets the floatplane down to check up on the Thunder falls. Thunder falls looks like Niagara Falls but two times as much bigger. But, soon the floatplane’s engine had a complete shutdown. Winter came by so fast they realized they were stranded at a place called Deadman Valley. Deadman Valley has wild animals like a grizzly with three cubs, artic foxes, snowshoe hares, and musk oxen.

Stranger: Wow! That must be an amazing story to read about someone’s life and ending up somewhere the one character hasn’t gone before and the other kid that belonged to Canada knew exactly what to do at his or her situation. I must sit down and read my butt off when I have the time to relax that would be after I retire. What did they do to survive?

Me: They survived like some professional adult would, but can you believe there only 15 years old. I am impressed with how much the native boy knew much about the culture and Gabe here he studied through papers. Gabe remembered much of it and knew what to do, but Raymond had hunted a moose and cut it up, cooked it, and ate it.

Stranger: Well, I am impressed, too. If these kids knew who how to survive in the really cold area just by hearing stories, then those who were paying attention should know all of the things that we need to do to survive.

Me: That’s what I had in mind, but directly didn’t say it cause I needed to see how you respond to that. I guess the world see’s earth as an “I am going to challenge you till my death and you wouldn’t help it if I am sick” situation. And there are a whole bunch of human animals struggling with there life, because each and one of are being judged to get a graduation degree and to be better than others, especially its called show-off because to me it’s like everyone is trying to show-off to be better or not.

Stranger: I would like to read that book, it sounds too great and it attracted my brain.

Me: I enjoyed it so much and I recommend you will sit down comfortably and read it. It was so much fun. What time is it?

Stranger: Oh, it is about 3:15. Why, what do you have to do?

Me: Oh My God! Guess what? I just spent the whole 20 minutes talking to you about this book I was interested in, when I read it. I was on my 15 minutes break and I am 5 minutes late.

Stranger: Yeah, thanks for telling me part of the book. At least I enjoyed it and will read it if I have the time. Bye, I will see you some other time. Alright, Take Care. I will let you know what I think of it.

Me: Well, I guess I better get back to class, yeah you too. Take care. We will see each other again sometime.

I went back to my class and she went out the door to her home village.

Communication

Communication is one of the most difficult things we each humans are not so good at. Well, I know you know that there are like so much different languages and each culture we live in are diverse. Because of that one mistake some groups did long ago. Did you ever hear about how Egyptians or some kind of living people were trying to make the highest length of the building out of sand, but anyways they were building something vertically that can pass the clouds and or higher than a clouds. That was when we started getting different languages so we wouldn't kin on each others thoughts. 

I am and you are one of the people who have hardships on verbally communicating with each others. Maybe because I grew up knowing my first language that my parents, grandparents, and everyone that was there with me spoke and taught us. As for now, I am having difficulty life with the way things are done. You know our spare time is to learn most of the things that we can learn and that are being taught to us. The most thing is to remember them by heart and by mind so that it can be taught to our future leaders. That's one thing that teachers, principals, chaperones, and staff are valued in the school for, to teach and make sure we have all the things that were taught to our elders and those that have passed away. But, things cannot get taught in one day in life. Can you imagine being taught in 24 hours of a culture that you would at least have difficulty time to remember? Well, I would get confused and mix everything up from that one day. From that one day things can either go by solving the steps in a shuffled, mixed, or in any various consequences order. Yeah, everyone makes mistakes and all we need is practice. Practice makes perfect. Each one of us has something that someone don't have, like were unique and we are so talented with something we like best. From that special thing we can teach someone that have not experienced it. It's all between experience and learning. Or am I saying it wrong. Well, not sure because I am still learning as you are now. Earth is so diverse but one thing we all can do is think. Think is to think about your thinks. Learn is to learn about what you learned. Verbally communicating is to communicate with all your speaking skills and based on how much you understand. In the future you will probably realize about the things you learned and tell someone about how it is done. The future is hard to predict with prejudgement. But from Earth Science Polycom I have something that I like the best which is "The key is the present to the past". Like making a time line about yourself from the day you were born to the present. Must be important to know about all the things you did in your lifetime. Oh, and if you want a relationship, the number one thing you might want to do is figure out if you are related to the person by asking. Of course,  you might of already know but for younger kids they will need to know. 

Compromising

Other

Members

Might be

Unknown to the

Nation

In the

Care of 

All the 

Tribal

Institution 

On any other

Number of issues.

In one hundred years...

In one hundred years, the world will be like some culture or ethnicity would rule the world just like the previous century. you know the pharoah of england ruled there own world, and british came along, and most of natives americans immigrated towards the west of the world... 

The language will change because schools now are teaching students English Second Languages. I believe the world will change major and there is like no way we can stop the global warming. Well Global Warming is natural, right and because I believe each and one of us are using chemicals that the atmosphere wouldn't keep the atmosphere healthy and strong. The earth is dying just like we each living people will die when the time has come. Also, it seems like the earth is getting so old that it can't control its own atmosphere, too. Got to think about these things, like a pet we feed, take care of, and enjoy with will die or us (the caretakers) will die before them... Who knows about our future, but we can infer about it by making plans and having each plan to happen. But if we are sick, no one would have control our sickness just like we can't  control the earth we are living in that is slowly heating up. But our powerful words will never die and our lives can refreshen if we make it happen. Feeling like new while the earth is living its days going by. half day light and half night. 

Commercial Fish

Last summer of 2007, there was a commercial fish in the Kuskokwim just out here in the river and my sister and I decided to commercial fish. I had a lot of fun sitting in the boat looking at the net and guessing the numbers of fish being caught and telling stories with each other about the past. Although it was my first year to commercial fish, I kind of knew what was to be done, but one commercial fish time, we caught about 75 fish of three different types. We had caught more fish than the other times, because we use secret stuff, which Bristol Bay fisherman use to catch as much as they can. The time went by so fast that I had wanted to fish longer, but since it was time we started heading toward the dock. I hadn't thought my sister would take the little slough that took us to Bethel and so we stopped by to the fishcamp to drop off few fishes. Oscarville  is located 5 miles southwest of Bethel and between here and Bethel lays the fishcamp that belongs to us, that is like 1/5 miles in between. After commercial fishing, my sister and I were on our way to fishcamp to drop off a few fish. When we settled the boat, I quickly grabbed three of the King Salmons and got out of the boat, went up to the land took about 30 steps to get to the spot where we place fish in. As I reached it, I lifted up the plywood with my right leg, so that I could put the fish in. Once the plywood was removed I quickly placed the three King Salmons in and took the plywood and covered the spot with the plywood. I had a good time on land for a while to walk, but when I started taking the same path that I took,  I started to smell the fish, they smelled like the secret stuff we used for catching as much as we can. Also, I had to push the boat out so that it can be in  the deepened part of the water so that the motor can work just fine. She started driving in the slough toward the Bethel Dock, and it took about 10-15 minutes cause the boat was load of fish. As soon as we got to the dock we waited for about another 10 minutes until we got to the grabber to put in fish and weigh the amount and the number of fish caught by us. My sister helped out more than me because she was pro at commercial fishing. She got paid extra because I gilled every fish that was in the boat. After the fish was all gone from the boat, we got out and let the next line continue because there was more fisherman's that was waiting on their turn. We stopped somewhere near the brown piles and climbed up the ladder to get on the road and head over to the hotdog and pop center. We grabbed two each of hotdogs and took a soda pop. We then, right away, headed back to the boat, and ate. We enjoyed the view of the other fishermans and they were amazed of how the two girls would be fishing in the river themselves, without any guy to support them. I got nervous and all when they kept saying, but my sister was so brave enough to tell them that she started commercial fishing when she was 14, that was 6 years ago. I just stood silent and listening to the conversation, and smiling. Then after all we went home and relaxed. 

my name and i created it

Many things in human world 

Aren't possible to be understood

Rarely, cause no one knows everything

There isn't anything that seems to be perfect

Here, many have so, a very different story for each one of you

Also, there is a time when they aren't possible

Where each and one of you lay, see a different view point

Anyways, the way you see others may not be the same

Since, LOVE is a great word and can't be described.

Kingdom in heaven, is one main thing i care, but

As you are now, you may enjoy because you have a future, and is and will be in charge of yourself and of your own body. 

that is what I pretty much had in mind..

Later

About myself

Hi, I would like to introduce you about myself. First off, I would say that I had grew up living in Oscarville for the 18 years of my age except for the 6 months in Atmautluak. Didn't gone out of Alaska yet. But hopefully someday I might. I attend school in Qugcuun Memorial in the community of 60-70 people. I am the daughter of Sammie N. Waska and Mary (Tom) Waska, in my family I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers in which the names are Samantha, me, Jessica, Patrick, Valentina, Jeffrey, and my youngest sister Jamaica. The things I like to do is watch over my siblings and traveling only once in a great while, mainly because I need to stay focused on my school or career. Secondly, I spend most of my quality time being independent (don't want to expand on that), anyways I have a life as you but only different because each and one of us have special talents and we take our skills we do know differently, but imagine if all the people's world went off the same, we probably will feel bored and feel like it's not a world of difference. So this is all I am going to say for now. Take care and have fun. God Bless.

Martha Lavv'aq

If there were no birds...

Imagine what would it be like if there was no birds in our area! If there were no birds we wouldn't have known what and when the river will break-up during the spring to summer season. usually there is a saying about any specific birds. For example, like redheads always goes to a person that is a shaman, once they entered the house, the shaman will then know that someone they are close to or perhaps someone they know has passed away. Another example of what it will be like if there were no birds is that we wouldn't know if one of the people that my family knows well that passed away. Like swallows, for example are always entering my house, and once they've entered it, a little while later we hear that someone like related passed away. It there were no birds than i don't know which animals will come near to let us know that the relative as one of my family do know that passed away. So, in my thoughts there is any animal or mammals that has a spirit, that co-operates with human beings of certain ethnicity. 

 

Martha Lavv'aq